Distant February

by delugée

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xTixoc To know that a better version of yourself exists is a miserable disposition. I just want to be so much. I dream of a self-actualized version of myself although fear and sorrow is all that I know. To move beyond this point would set me free of what I have become. I need to free myself, from myself. My mind is dwindling away from my old mind day by day. I cannot wait to meet myself.
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*voice over (from Shutter Island)*:

this place makes me wonder
which would be worse?
to live as a monster,
or to die as a good man?

In a distant February,
I think I saw you there

Too many months behind these bars
The confines of my mind
My body vacant for another soul
Empty from the one you took
I found some bones deep in the past
Our ribs that used to laugh in line
Your crooked smile that lost all time
Our life that lives forever in the lake

You know this place makes me wonder

In a distant February
I think I saw you there

(My mind forever stuck on repeat)
They say that some things set you free
This must be what you meant to me
And what’s the difference if it all feels the same
Insanity’s a relatively closed perspective don’t you see?
And some things never set you free
I feel you clinging on to what we used to be
But it all goes down drowning drowning in my mind
And it all goes down drowning in through time

In a distant February,
I think I saw you there.


released May 31, 2016



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